When I woke up I was in a hospital.... I didn't really remember anything. I remember inhaling something an then passing out... I looked around there was no one. Nothing. Just a barren room with no one in it or anyone around.. I was so thirsty I swallowed something that was in a small red cup. It made me woosy an then I knocked out again..
* * * * * * * *
I walked into John's room he drank the cup an he was knocked out again.. I laughed I set the baby's carriage down by his bed an left. I was never coming back. I got paid to have this baby, to be with him. My deal is over.
"Goodbye John......." I said lowly as I teared up.. I had gotten close to my daughter an now I was never going to see her again....
"You left the baby?" the voice said from the back seat of my car. I nodded.
"Good.Good. Oh quit crying you'll have another baby." I gave a stiff nod an wiped my tears.
"What know?" I asked quietly.
"Go live your life smart one. I'll call you the next time I need you." I heard the door open an someone climb out an then I heard footsteps.. I drove away...
"Bye babygirl..." i whispered as I drove away from the hospital
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
What to say? Do?
I'm selfcentered? Okay. I'm ungrateful? Fine.
Do you remember when you said you have some of YOUR mother in you? You remember? Oh good. Because I see it you know when you said your mom's critical. I see some of it in you..... And not always.... But I think I see it now.... So you know what I love you and I will always love you but sometimes I can't talk to you. Maybe if I saw you like you said then you wouldn't but idk anymore don't care any more..... I don't even know what to say....
Do you remember when you said you have some of YOUR mother in you? You remember? Oh good. Because I see it you know when you said your mom's critical. I see some of it in you..... And not always.... But I think I see it now.... So you know what I love you and I will always love you but sometimes I can't talk to you. Maybe if I saw you like you said then you wouldn't but idk anymore don't care any more..... I don't even know what to say....
Monday, March 12, 2012
The Truth Hurts pt 12....
I walked into my kitchen and grabbed my bottle of vodka... I took a gulp...
The next morning I woke up in my tub.. I scratched my hair and looked at my watch.
"9:45" my eyes widen really big.
"9:45!!!!!" I ran into my room and put on any clothes today was another interview with Ms. Natalie. I hopped in my car, bagel in mouth. I made it to my job at exactly 10:05. I ran into my office and sat down letting out a breath of relief. At 10:10 my boss always came in.
"John." He said and smiled.
"Boss" I replied. Then Diaz walked in.
"Bruhh you have some swag." He used a term that a lot of the teen criminals used.
"No. Im just Bo$$" I laughed at the fact that I used one too. Diaz and I talked while we walked to where Natalie was for the interview. She wasn't in the room when we got there. We walked back to my office and sure enough Natalie and two officers were there.
"Hiya John!" She said smiling a very sinister smile.
"Officers thank you." I didn't show her that I acknoledged her.
The officers walked out and Diaz sitting in my chair load his gun.
"Ms. Rollen. It's Mr. Davis to you, thank you. Diaz get up and please handcuff Nata- I mean Ms. Rollen to the chair." Diaz did what I said and Natalie stared at me sorrow in her eyes. Did she think I liked her back? I did but I'm a professional and now I have a child.
"Ms. Rollen how was your evening?" I asked looking into my NotePad. She took a breath before speaking so I nodded at the typewriter.
"Well Johnny, I went home for about 2 hours. You know because I demanded it? And I took a hot shower, shaved my legs, washed my hair. Straightened my hair and got my makeup and clothes. Then they brought me back to the jail and I got my own 'VIP room' because now it has a shower and bed and a mirror and plugs and a door." I nodded she was trying to push my buttons. It wasnt going to work.
"And how was your morning?" I asked not responding to her last answer.
"When I woke up I changed my clothes and I slipped into my heels and did my makeup and hair. I also have a new perfume. Do you like it ?"
"I have not smelled you." I asked a few more questions. Diaz uncuffed her and she came up to me and got close.
"Do you like it?" A chill ran down my back and I nodded. I then noticed her beautiful makeup, hair and smooth legs."
"Uh... Yes it's great.. Uh Diaz can you uuhhh.. Officers..?? Please" He nodded laughing. Natalie left and I fell to the floor.
The next morning I woke up in my tub.. I scratched my hair and looked at my watch.
"9:45" my eyes widen really big.
"9:45!!!!!" I ran into my room and put on any clothes today was another interview with Ms. Natalie. I hopped in my car, bagel in mouth. I made it to my job at exactly 10:05. I ran into my office and sat down letting out a breath of relief. At 10:10 my boss always came in.
"John." He said and smiled.
"Boss" I replied. Then Diaz walked in.
"Bruhh you have some swag." He used a term that a lot of the teen criminals used.
"No. Im just Bo$$" I laughed at the fact that I used one too. Diaz and I talked while we walked to where Natalie was for the interview. She wasn't in the room when we got there. We walked back to my office and sure enough Natalie and two officers were there.
"Hiya John!" She said smiling a very sinister smile.
"Officers thank you." I didn't show her that I acknoledged her.
The officers walked out and Diaz sitting in my chair load his gun.
"Ms. Rollen. It's Mr. Davis to you, thank you. Diaz get up and please handcuff Nata- I mean Ms. Rollen to the chair." Diaz did what I said and Natalie stared at me sorrow in her eyes. Did she think I liked her back? I did but I'm a professional and now I have a child.
"Ms. Rollen how was your evening?" I asked looking into my NotePad. She took a breath before speaking so I nodded at the typewriter.
"Well Johnny, I went home for about 2 hours. You know because I demanded it? And I took a hot shower, shaved my legs, washed my hair. Straightened my hair and got my makeup and clothes. Then they brought me back to the jail and I got my own 'VIP room' because now it has a shower and bed and a mirror and plugs and a door." I nodded she was trying to push my buttons. It wasnt going to work.
"And how was your morning?" I asked not responding to her last answer.
"When I woke up I changed my clothes and I slipped into my heels and did my makeup and hair. I also have a new perfume. Do you like it ?"
"I have not smelled you." I asked a few more questions. Diaz uncuffed her and she came up to me and got close.
"Do you like it?" A chill ran down my back and I nodded. I then noticed her beautiful makeup, hair and smooth legs."
"Uh... Yes it's great.. Uh Diaz can you uuhhh.. Officers..?? Please" He nodded laughing. Natalie left and I fell to the floor.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Dear God
She called at 7:58pm. I answered the phone "Hey love, whats up?" I hear sobs in her voice as she trys to speak through the phone. I had known her father was sick and in the hospital... But that wasn't it her sweet voice sounded depressed.... She said the words "my dad died" and my jaw dropped........
Dear God,
That's her dad, why did You take him from her. You know that was the only person she had. The only person who loved her other than her grandma... God, I know You love us but why hurt the ones we love or having the ones we love pass away. My bestfriends only 13. She has a hard life she didn't need this. Lord I have faith that You did this for a certain purpose but You could have given my friend a hint... I mean if this had happened to me Lord I would be so angry with You right now. Not thinking you have her dad resting with You in paradise.. But You do don't You? He watching over Brandy... Can You do me a favor Brandy's dad? If God is letting you see or read this somehow or God can You let Brandy know she's gonna be ok?? Cam You let her know she has people who love her very much... God I ask that You protect Brandy with all Your angels tonight and set her at peace Lord. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen. <3
-Gaby
Dear God,
That's her dad, why did You take him from her. You know that was the only person she had. The only person who loved her other than her grandma... God, I know You love us but why hurt the ones we love or having the ones we love pass away. My bestfriends only 13. She has a hard life she didn't need this. Lord I have faith that You did this for a certain purpose but You could have given my friend a hint... I mean if this had happened to me Lord I would be so angry with You right now. Not thinking you have her dad resting with You in paradise.. But You do don't You? He watching over Brandy... Can You do me a favor Brandy's dad? If God is letting you see or read this somehow or God can You let Brandy know she's gonna be ok?? Cam You let her know she has people who love her very much... God I ask that You protect Brandy with all Your angels tonight and set her at peace Lord. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen. <3
-Gaby
Saturday, February 11, 2012
The little lady
Little lady walking down the streets with an airplane in one hand and a broken doll in the other. Little lady doesn't look up, doesn't smile, doesn't greet us. Her mother so tender and hurt distracts me and says "I am a mother of 2 and single. Need money to pay rent. Please help. God bless." I sigh and look back at the little lady who doesn't acknowledge that we're standing there. I hear my mother shuffle through her bag looking for a 20 dollar bill, she finds it. Hands it to the hurt soul and smiles. The old little lady thanks us many times. I smile but my eyes don't leave the little lady who seemed oblivious to our existence. My mother urged me on and I kept walking. The little lady following her mother glancing back once and giving me a slight smile her face forever imprinted on my mind. I smile to myself and think I hope she goes far an doesn't get hurt much.
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